Questions
by Jo. R
Summary: She wants answers. Answers to questions she doesn't know how to ask. Spoilers for Affinity and New Order


Title: Questions

Author: Jo. R

Rating: PG-13

Category: Post-episode for 'New Order', Angst, Sam/Jack UST, Sam/Pete, Other pairing, Drama, tiny bit of action/adventure, tiny bit of AU.

Spoilers/Season: Set mid-season eight, big spoilers for 'New Order' and 'Affinity', also slightly for 'First Commandment', 'Unnatural Selection', 'Heroes' and 'The Lost City'.

Archive: SJD, Heliopolis, Gateworld, Random Ramblings.

Summary: 'She wanted answers. Answers to questions she didn't know how to ask.'

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine – never have been and never will be. They belong to Sci Fi, MGM and Stargate Productions. No money is being made, no copyright infringement or disrespect meant.

* * *

A flash of light through the green of the trees made her stop. Lt. Colonel Sam Carter hesitated in rejoining her teammates and tightened her grip on her weapon.

The MALP had shown no indication of life on the planet, no indigenous people to worry about and her team had found no indications to the contrary in the two days they'd been there. They had all, on separate occasions, said that they felt as though they were being watched by someone or something but had dismissed the idea as being a foolish one during a campfire discussion, blaming their over active imaginations on the horror stories General O'Neill had so thoughtfully entertained them with when he'd accompanied them on their last mission, a first since his promotion.

Now Sam wasn't so sure that was the case.

She kept her gaze fixed on the area where the movement had caught her eye and unclipped her radio. "Teal'c, Daniel, do you read?"

It was only a few seconds before they answered.

"We are here, Colonel Carter."

"What's up, Sam?"

"I think I saw someone." Her voice was calm and steady. "Start packing up. I'll meet you back at camp in five minutes. We'll go to the 'gate together."

"Do you require assistance, Colonel Carter?"

Sam opened her mouth to respond and pressed the button the radio. An exclamation of surprise, followed by a groan of pain was the answer they got. She fell to the ground; consciousness fading as the two stronger than human hands were removed from around her neck after applying just enough pressure to make her world darken momentarily.

When Teal'c and Daniel found her, she was struggling to get to her feet, her eyes dazed, clutching her left arm. The bruises on the pale skin of her neck were already forming but it was the pins and needles in her arm that confused her the most.

Daniel Jackson moved to her side and helped support her as she rose on unsteady legs. Teal'c glanced around, crouching down to survey the area in the hopes that Colonel Carter's assailant could be tracked.

"I didn't have time to fight," Sam explained when she saw him look around. "Whoever or whatever it was came at me from behind. They were very quiet, I didn't see or hear anything."

"The only footprints I can see belong to you," Teal'c informed her quietly and Sam could almost hear the disappointment in his voice. He moved his eyes from their surroundings and stared at her with solemn eyes. "How severe are your injuries?"

Sam shrugged and winced at the pain the movement caused. "I'll be fine," she answered eventually, after a quick inventory of her aches and pains that assured her she would be. "Just a bit bruised."

"What happened to your arm?" Daniel stared at her in concern, his hand hovering at the small of her back, ready to react if she needed him to.

"Hmm? Oh." Sam stared down at the arm she was favouring and tentatively flexed her fingers. "It's fine. I must've fell on it awkwardly. Doctor Brightman can check it out when we get home."

"We have what needs to be taken back with us. O'Neill can send another team to collect the rest of our belongings."

Before she could protest, Teal'c moved to stand on her other side and Sam found herself being slowly walked back towards the Stargate. She watched groggily as Daniel punched in the sequence for Earth and turned slightly, staring back out over the woods they'd walked through.

There was someone there.

Watching them. Watching her.

She shivered but managed a smile when Teal'c stared at her questioningly. Sam let him walk her up the steps towards the Stargate and fixed her gaze ahead of her, half afraid of what she'd see if she dared to look back.

* * *

Doctor Brightman inspected her from head to toe and eventually insisted on keeping her in the infirmary overnight. She put up a token protest but found she was too tired to put any real fight into it. So she collapsed gratefully onto the bed Doctor Brightman had ushered her onto and was sleeping soundly by the time her teammates and General O'Neill stopped by after their quick briefing without her.

General Jack O'Neill stood by her bed and stared down at her, a frown arranging his features. "Daniel," he started slowly, reaching for Carter's wrist, "go get Doctor Brightman. Something's not right."

"She's just sleeping," Daniel answered in a quiet murmur, not wanting to disturb his teammate when she so obviously needed the sleep. He was stopped from saying more as Teal'c approached the bed and gripped the slumbering woman's shoulders, shaking her lightly. "What are you doing, Teal'c? She needs to sleep..."

Her eyes flickered slightly at the motion and she stared up at them through glassy eyes. She opened her mouth, as if to try and say something, but her eyes rolled back into her head, her jaw hanging open.

Jack turned to tell Daniel to go again only to find the archaeologist wasn't there. He turned his attention back to the unconscious woman, holding her icy hand in his. Teal'c lowered her head and shoulders back down to the pillows and stood back obediently as Doctor Brightman and her team appeared.

The three men were ushered to the other side of the room, listening dimly to the doctor shouting out orders to her members of staff, catching glimpses of the unconscious woman as people moved around her bed, more often than not blocking their view.

After three hours and forty-seven minutes, Doctor Brightman stepped away from the bed, pulling the curtain behind her as she went. She walked over to the three men, her expression one of pure exhaustion.

"I don't know what caused it," she told them quietly, her voice reflecting the confusion that showed on her face. "I'll do more tests tomorrow but right now Colonel Carter needs her rest."

Teal'c's gaze rose up from where it had fallen to the floor. Daniel gaped at her.

Jack blinked. "She's al… awake?"

Doctor Brightman smiled wearily and motioned to the curtained bed. "She's back, General. She had some form of seizure and lost consciousness for a while but we were able to get her back. She's very tired, though." The Doctor hesitated and glanced over her shoulder, the relief fading into concern. "There's something else, Sir." Her voice grew quieter and she took a step closer. "Colonel Carter seems a little bit confused."

"Confused how?"

"She believes she's a Lieutenant in the Air Force, not a Colonel," Doctor Brightman answered slowly. Her gaze fell on the General's face briefly before she forcefully moved it to include the other two men. "She also believes she's married to Captain Jonas Hanson. She wants to know where he is."

* * *

She could hear their voices beyond the curtain that separated them, despite their attempts at keeping their voices down. She heard the incredulous tone of Doctor Jackson's voice, heard the unfamiliar concern in Colonel O'Neill's words and wondered nervously what she'd done to warrant the attention of the infamous SG-1.

They didn't know she existed and why should they? She was a lowly Lieutenant, a science geek called upon when there was a problem no one else could solve and even then when she helped find a solution, she was lucky to get recognition for her achievement. General West was like that about the women under his command but they all knew better than to speak up. They'd all had similar experiences with commanding officers in the past and in her experience speaking up got you nowhere. Literally. Why else was she still a lieutenant when most of the man who'd graduated from the academy in her year and the years below her were reaching the ranks of Captain and Major and in a dozen cases, Colonel.

Sam fidgeted with the covers of the infirmary bed and tried to remember why she was there. Had she been in some sort of accident? Had something happened in one of the labs? And where was Jonas? Why wasn't he there?

She knew they'd been going through a rough patch in their marriage but she would have expected him to come and see her. On the rare occasions she was hurt – and the more common occasion he was injured during his off-world missions with SG-9 – the other was always made aware of the situation and would always be there when the other woke up.

The Doctor – Doctor Bright, where was Doctor Fraiser? – had given her a concerned look when she'd asked for her husband and that didn't help settle Sam's nerves at all. She searched her memory for her last recollection of her husband and remembered sleepily kissing him goodbye a few days ago before he left with SG-9 on a mission. They'd argued the night before – she didn't remember what about – but he had woken her up so he could say goodbye properly as was their ritual. He knew she didn't like him going off world without saying a proper goodbye in case something happened and he respected that.

Her blood thickened into ice and the colour drained from her face as her light clasping of the corners turned into a desperate clutching. "Doctor? Doctor Brightman?"

The whispered conversation fell silent and Sam heard the clip-clap of the doctor's heels, staring up at her fake smile anxiously as the curtain was pulled back and the doctor appeared. "Yes, Colonel?"

"Where's my husband?" Sam ignored the mistake in rank – obviously the doctor was new and if she for some reason happened to think she was a higher-ranking officer than she was, then Sam was flattered. Or would be, later. When she wasn't worried about her husband. "He left with SG-9 on a mission three days ago. He should be back by now, has something happened?"

The curtain rustled and moved and Colonel O'Neill appeared, flanked as usual by Teal'c and Doctor Jackson. "Carter, I don't know how to tell you this but you're not married. Not yet and definitely not to Hanson."

"With all due respect, Colonel, it's odd that you know my name let alone my personal circumstances." Sam noticed the brief look of surprise on his face but ignored it. "If you won't tell me where Jonas is at least get me Doctor Fraiser or General West. Someone who knows we're married and will tell me the truth."

"Sam, Janet's…" Doctor Jackson started to speak to her, sadness filling his eyes. "Janet's dead. She died eight months ago in an ambush on P3X666."

Sam stared at him for several moments and just as they were beginning to hope she'd remembered, she shook her head dismissively. "Janet hasn't been off-world, she isn't allowed. And if you won't get me her, get me General West instead. Unless you're going to tell me he's dead, too?" She added this with a scathing edge to her voice and a challenging look that did nothing to hide her growing apprehension.

"Carter, General West hasn't been involved in the program in over eight years. General Hammond was in charge for seven and now I am." Colonel O'Neill glanced at Doctor Brightman. "Is it okay to be telling her this stuff, Doc? It's not going to make tings worse?"

Doctor Brightman shrugged. "I honestly can't say, General. We don't know what's caused Colonel Carter's condition and I can only theorise that telling her certain things might help jog her memory of the last eight years..."

"If you're going to talk about me like I'm not here, why don't you go do it somewhere else and get me someone who knows what the hell is going on here?" Any other time, any other place, Sam would have bit her tongue and played the role she'd perfected as the dutiful, quiet Lieutenant who never said a word let alone speak up to a commanding officer. But any other time Jonas would have been beside her, a calming if not restraining presence, and the longer he wasn't the more she found herself panicking. "I'm a Lieutenant in the US Air Force and have been for four years. The SGC hasn't been running for eight years so I know your story is just that, a story. And I know you're not a General and certainly not in command of the SGC." She fixed O'Neill with a cold stare. "You're the leader of the infamous SG-1. You barely know I exist, let alone my name. Any of you. To you guys, I'm just a science geek General West uses occasionally to find answers when no one else can."

Doctor Jackson took a step closer to the bed and made to reach out for her hand but pulled back when she flinched. "You are a Colonel, Sam. A Lieutenant Colonel. You've been a member of SG-1 for over eight years, since the beginning when the team was formed. Jack was promoted to Brigadier General at the beginning of the year and you took over from him on SG-1. You're not married to Jonas Hanson but you're engaged to Pete Shanahan, he's a detective…"

"He's a detective who's a friend of my brothers, who I dated briefly during a short separation with my husband," Sam finished for him, contradicting his series of events with the ones she knew to be true. "He's still a good friend, yes, but we're not engaged and I'm giving my marriage a second chance. I haven't been on SG-1 at any point in time – how can I when I've not set foot through the Stargate?"

"Do you not remember accompanying Daniel Jackson and myself back through the Stargate, Colonel Carter?" Teal'c questioned her when she paused to take a breath.

"No, because I've never gone through it. I think that's something I'd remember, don't you?" Her patience was rapidly reaching its limits and her knuckles turned white where they gripped the sheets. "General West would never let me go through the Stargate. He believes that as a woman my place is here on Earth, not fighting in the frontlines on some alien planet."

The Colonel – General? – stared at her in disbelief. "And that doesn't seem wrong to you?"

She laughed bitterly, humourlessly. "Of course it does but I know better than to say it."

"Is that why you're only a lieutenant?" Doctor Brightman was watching her curiously and Sam felt like a lab rat under a microscope. "Because of the attitude of General West?"

Sam nodded, seeing a flicker of understanding in the other woman's eyes. "General West and other CO's like him. I've had a few."

"Could she be from an alternate reality?" Colonel O'Neill piped up suddenly and Sam lowered her gaze, a flush spreading over her cheeks as she remembered another visit from an alternate Doctor Carter. Colonel O'Neill had bee humiliated, mortified even, that she'd been married to his counterpart. Jonas had found the situation highly amusing, she remembered, telling her at least she was with the right guy in their reality. She'd laughed and agreed with him but part of her had wondered whether that was true.

"No." Doctor Jackson dismissed the idea just as she was starting to like it, just as she was starting to see it as being plausible. "This Sam was conscious when she came through the Stargate with us. She knew us. Whatever's happened to Sam happened since we came back."

All four faces turned to look at her and Sam wished she could sink into the bed and pull the covers over her head, removing them only when someone she knew came to check she was alright. She couldn't do that, though, she wanted answers.

Answers to questions she didn't know how to ask.

With a soft sigh, she settled herself more comfortably against the pillows and locked gazes with Doctor Brightman, hoping the woman would prove to be as a good an ally as Doctor Fraiser. "I know something's going on here and I want to get to the bottom of it just as much as you do. But please. I need to know where Jonas is. He was due back this morning and I know something's wrong."

"Col-Lieutenant-Sam." Doctor Jackson answered the question for the doctor, giving her a sympathetic look while motioning to his colleagues to leave. No one did. He shook his head tolerantly and moved a little closer to the bed. "I'm sorry, Sam. Captain Hanson died on his mission to P3X513. I won't go into details but it was an accident…"

"No." Sam shook her head and stared at him in disbelief, ignoring the pounding of her heart in her chest. "You're lying to me. He's not dead."

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but he's telling the truth." Doctor Brightman kept her voice soft and sympathetic. "I read the reports, the conditions of the planet were intense…"

"No, I mean he can't have died there." Sam's voice grew more insistent and her hands released the sheets only to clench into fists. "Jonas hasn't been to P3X513, no one has. He went to P3X478 with SG-9. I know because I read the mission brief before he left. No one's been to P3X513, not yet."

For a long pause, no one said anything. Sam looked from one face to the next, waiting for someone to say something. Waiting for them to dare and contradict her.

No one did.

"I think it would be best if we let you get some sleep now, Sam." Doctor Brightman smiled at her but Sam could see it was forced. She didn't get a chance to comment, however, as the doctor turned her attention to the three members of SG-1. "I'll start running more tests tomorrow morning but right now I think the best thing for us all would be to get a good night's sleep."

SG-1 reluctantly agreed and were ushered out into the main section of the infirmary, with Doctor Brightman securing the curtains behind them. Sam let her eyes close but didn't let herself fall asleep straight away. If she listened carefully, she could still hear snippets of the conversation taking place beyond the curtain.

"I promise I'll get to the bottom of this, General," Doctor Brightman was saying, her voice serious. "Maybe if we let her get some sleep, she'll wake up tomorrow morning and remember everything."

"I hope so, doctor." Colonel O'Neill's voice sounded gruff, almost like her situation was causing him a great deal of personal strain.

Sam barely managed to suppress a snort. Since when had Colonel O'Neill ever noticed her, let alone cared?

"I'll come and see her first thing in the morning. Maybe if she's not back to normal, she'll talk more freely to just me and we'll be able to figure out more about the life she thinks she's living."

"That's a good idea, Doctor Jackson. I think she's more likely to respond if we take the one and one approach. I'll see you all in the morning."

Sam heard them all walk away and finally let herself relax. She talk to them all in the morning, ask Doctor Jackson more questions and try to get some answers.

In the morning, when she woke up.

* * *

He slept through the knocking on his door, was dimly aware of the sound of someone overriding the card lock outside and then was all too aware of someone shaking him to get his attention.

"Jack? Jack!" He groaned and lifted a hand to bat the annoying voice and the archaeologist it belonged to away. "It's Sam, Jack. She won't wake up."

His eyes opened and Jack sat up, almost head butting Daniel who quickly took a step back. "Carter what?"

"She won't wake up," Daniel repeated, raking a hand through his already messed up hair. "I went to talk to her like I said I would, to see if she was back or to try and find out more about the life she's created for herself…"

"The life with Hanson," Jack remembered groggily. "Right. She thinks she's married to the guy."

"Yeah. Anyway, she was asleep when I got there so I waited for a while. Then Doctor Brightman came in – you won't believe what she found, you've got to see it – and we tried to wake Sam up but we can't." Daniel paused for a second and inhaled deeply. "She's unconscious, probably in a coma of some sort."

"A coma? Caused by what?" Jack pushed himself up off of his bed and ran a hand over his face. "She didn't hit her head. There was nothing in Brightman's report…"

"We think we know what's causing it." Daniel shook his head and took another step backwards, towards the door. "You've got to see this, Jack. It's unbelievable. And we have to go back to the planet, to P4X897."

"Why don't you just tell me since you're so excited?" Jack followed the archaeologist out into the hallway, closing the door behind him and starting in the direction of the infirmary.

Daniel threw him a look he chose not to interpret. "I'm not excited, Jack, I'm concerned. This is big, and if I'm right there's only one person who can help Sam and I'm not sure he will."

"He?"

"Fifth."

"Fifth?" There was a short pause, a heartbeat in which the two men just stared at each other. "What's he got to do with Carter's condition?"

"You'll see." Daniel looked grim as he led the way. "Come on, Teal'c and Doctor Brightman are waiting for us."

They reached the infirmary in record time. Doctor Brightman and Teal'c were waiting for them just as Daniel said but Jack got the impression the doctor had grown impatient and debriefed Teal'c without them.

"So what's the prognosis? What's up with Carter?"

Doctor Brightman motioned to the microscope she'd set up on the bench at the side of the infirmary. "Take a look, I think you'll see why we're so concerned."

Jack shrugged and walked over to the microscope, adjusting it slightly so he could look down inside it. "What am I looking at here?"

"A sample of Colonel Carter's blood, taken when she first came back yesterday." Doctor Brightman moved to stand beside him, waiting until he looked up. "You don't see anything wrong with it?"

"I'm not a doctor, doctor." He arched an eyebrow and looked through the microscope again. "Should I see something wrong with it?"

"No. Not yet." As he lifted his gaze away from the blood sample under the scope, Doctor Brightman switched the small pallet with another one. "Now look at this one. A blood sample I took myself at 0600 hours this morning."

Obediently, failing to see the relevance, Jack looked down through the microscope and sat up straighter, his head jerking back. "Nanites? You found nanites in her blood?" He glanced back to where Daniel and Teal'c were sitting and frowned. "Where'd they come from? And what's it got to do with the replicator guy?"

Doctor Brightman reached over without commenting and adjusted the magnification on the scope. "Look again, General. This is the same sample thirty times bigger."

With a sigh of frustration born of not being told anything, Jack once again looked through the microscope. He lifted his head and met the doctor's gaze, his mouth moving wordlessly before his gaze wandered back to the sample through the microscope.

The shape of the nanites had changed on closer inspection. Instead of the nanite bugs they were familiar with, Jack found himself staring at another type of bug they'd seen too often over the course of the last five years at the SGC: replicator blocks.

Tiny little replicator blocks, smaller than any they'd encountered before. The blood sample he was looking at was teaming with them.

"It gets worse," Doctor Brightman told him softly, reminding him she was there.

"How can it possibly get any worse?"

"The replicators are replicating in her blood stream, using organic material found inside her body. It's like a virus, Sir, it's spreading at an uncontrollable rate." Doctor Brightman shuffled uncomfortably on her feet. "At the rate they're replicating, we've got no way of removing them from her system and if they're in her brain, which is what I suspect given the fact she was delusional yesterday and we can't wake her today… I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for her."

"We need Fifth, Jack." Daniel approached them cautiously. "I think it's a fair bet to say he's the one who attacked Sam on P4X897…"

"How did they get inside her?" Jack asked, cutting Daniel off mid-sentence. "Did you find anything…?"

Doctor Brightman cleared her throat. "Colonel Carter was favouring her arm yesterday, she said she landed on it when she fell. I looked at it but other than some bruising didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I checked again this morning and found a small puncture wound. It looks swollen, infected. I'm guessing she was infected via an injection of some sort, that the bruising on her neck was meant to distract both her and us from her attackers main objective."

"You said they're using organic material to replicate." Jack moved away from the microscope, pacing the length of the small room. When he reached the end, he stopped and turned, facing them. "Do you mean they're tearing her apart? Piece by piece?"

"From the inside, yes. That's why it's imperative you find this Fifth and bring him back here." Doctor Brightman's voice was soft, her eyes sympathetic. "He's the only one who can save her, General."

Jack nodded but said nothing. He glanced back at the microscope and turned on his heel, watching out of the room. Teal'c and Daniel exchanged a look and followed, catching up with him as just as he made it to the elevators.

"We need to go now, Jack."

"Fifth may decide to move on, O'Neill. He will know we have discovered Colonel Carter's condition by now."

"He'll wait for us." Jack stepped into the carriage when it arrived but didn't react when his two former teammates stepped in behind him. "I think it's a trap."

"A trap for what?"

"For whom," Jack corrected grimly. "For me. He wants revenge and he's figured out it wasn't Carter's idea. He'll be there when we go back, I'm sure of it. He can keep waiting for a little bit longer. I need to make a phone call first."

"Who are you calling? The President?"

"No." Jack straightened his shoulders as the elevator came to a stop on level 27. "I'm calling Pete. If Carter's… If Fifth won't help us, he deserves to be here."

"It would be unwise to let Detective Shanahan close to Colonel Carter. We cannot take the risk of contaminating anyone else with this virus."

What Teal'c said made sense and Jack found himself nodding in agreement. "I'll tell him she's in quarantine. He can see her from the observation room."

Daniel put out a hand just as Jack was about to step inside his office. "Do you think it's a good idea to bring him here? Sam thinks she's engaged to Jonas. What if she says something in her sleep? No guy wants to hear that the woman he loves is engaged – married, even! - to someone else, even if it is all in her mind."

Teal'c stopped and stared at him.

Jack held his gaze.

Daniel thought over what he'd said and dropped his hand, his cheeks flushing guiltily. "Right. I didn't mean… I meant…"

"I know what you meant, Daniel." Jack pushed the door to his office open and stepped inside. "I'll warn him it might be a possibility, explain the situation the best I can. I'm sure he'll understand."

The door closed behind him.

"I really didn't mean…" Daniel let his voice trail off and looked at Teal'c helplessly.

Teal'c stared at him wordlessly for several seconds, then turned and walked away.

* * *

Detective Shanahan dropped everything the moment the phone rang. His heart sunk with every uttered sentence and he was out of the house within minutes of the phone call ending. Twenty minutes later he pulled up in the parking lot of the Cheyenne Mountain complex and after showing his ID to the waiting SF was led to the elevators that descended into the pit of the mountain.

Daniel Jackson and Teal'c met him on the 21st level; two men he knew had close friendships with his fiancée even though he couldn't understand why. A woman was with them and although he hadn't met her before or been formally introduced, he deduced by the white coat and sympathetic look in her eye that this was Sam's doctor.

"How is she? Where is she? What happened?" The questions reeled off his tongue, questions he heard every time he dealt with a missing persons case or a homicide where in he had to break the tragic news to the victims loved ones.

"Detective Shanahan, I'm Doctor Brightman. I've been treating Colonel Carter." The brunette woman held out her hand and he shook it numbly. "It would help if you told me what General O'Neill discussed with you when he called and I'll try to fill in any gaps."

Pete nodded and let the doctor usher him away from the elevators and down a corridor that mirrored the half a dozen he'd already been led down. He was aware of Teal'c and Daniel behind them though neither of them made any effort to speak. Probably too caught up in their own grief. "He said she's been infected with some form of virus. That she's under quarantine but you're hoping to find a cure though the odds of finding one are slim."

"Slim to none would be a good assessment, I'm afraid." Doctor Brightman sighed deeply. "I can't tell you much more than that due to the nature of the contagion and of the work we do here. I know you're aware that what goes on here is classified but it's a complicated situation as I'm sure you're well aware. The virus Colonel Carter was exposed to is foreign, alien if you will. It's effectively rendered the Colonel unconscious, creating a coma-like state though before she lapsed into the coma we were made aware that she seems to be trapped in some sort of delusion…"

"General O'Neill mentioned that. He said she thinks she's married to her former fiancé." Pete swallowed hard at the words, his hands clenching at his sides. "He said the virus has spread to her brain, that you're trying to treat it but it's proven to be unconventional at best."

"Unconventional is definitely one word for it." Doctor Brightman allowed herself a small humourless smile as she led him up the stairs into the observation room looking over the small space they'd moved Colonel Carter into. "We're doing all we can to make her comfortable and… oh."

Pete looked up and through the glass of the window when she stopped and frowned at the sight below him. "Should he be in there? Without a mask or gloves or something if she's contagious?"

"General O'Neill is… ah… He's immune." Doctor Brightman couldn't quite meet his gaze. In fact, she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the scene below where General O'Neill was standing beside Sam's bed, holding her hand so discreetly Pete wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't looked twice, leaning in with his lips moving, looking as though he were promising her the world or unburdening himself of a secret he didn't want anyone else to hear.

Maybe he was. It was impossible to know for sure.

"If he's immune, is there a chance I might be, too?" Pete tore his gaze away from them and stared at the doctor with what he knew was a hopeful look, an almost desperate look. "Can you test me? I'd like to be with her if I can."

"Doctor Brightman can test you but it's pretty unlikely," Daniel answered when the medical doctor didn't. "Jack… General O'Neill was once infected with a similar disease," he lied convincingly. "That's why he's immune."

It was as fictional as the official cover story for the SGC program but it didn't matter. Peter didn't know the truth and that was the main thing. The last thing they wanted was for Pete to know they didn't trust him down in Sam's room in case he did some snooping and found out more than they wanted him to. It wasn't that they thought he purposely go looking for more information on Sam's condition but the inquisitive nature of a detective combined with the desperation of a man facing the very real possibility of losing his fiancée wasn't a good combination. Allowances would be made I they were sure Sam couldn't be saved but not until then.

"We should depart, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c broke the heady silence that descended over them and acknowledged Pete with a respectful nod. "We will hopefully return wit news of a cure for Colonel Carter."

"I hope so." Pete gave the tall man a small smile in return, a smile that died when his gaze was drawn back to the room where his fiancée was now alone. "I really hope so."

"Good luck." Doctor Brightman gave the departing men a small smile and turned her attention back to her companion. "If there's anything I can get you, Detective, just ask."

Pete nodded but didn't really hear her. He sank down onto the chair she motioned to and sat on the edge of the seat, his gazed fixed on the slumbering woman below, wondering at the world she'd created for herself.

* * *

Warmth seeped in to every bone, comforting her, a heavy anchor to the dream world she lived in. A world that was being intruded on by first someone shaking her followed by warm lips moving against her ear.

"Wake up, sleepy head. You'll make me late."

She pried open heavy eyelids and stared drowsily into a pair of familiar brown eyes, a soft sleepy smile curving the corners of her mouth. "Jonas," she murmured on a sigh, her smile growing as he moved to touch his lips to hers. "They said you were dead."

Her husband pulled back and gave her a part quizzical, part bemused look. "You've been dreaming again, Sammy. I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere. Well, I am, but only for a few days."

She made a sound of discontent and wound her arms around his neck, drawing him down for another kiss. "Do you really have to go so soon?"

Jonas Hanson laughed affectionately and kissed her pouting lips quickly before prying himself out of his wife's arms. "Afraid so, Hon. I'll be back soon, I promise. P3X513 doesn't look like it'll be that interesting. Standard meet and greet. I'll be back before you know it."

"Make sure you are," Sam ordered sleepily, her arms moving to hug his pillow in place of the man it belonged to. "Love you."

"Love you, too, Sammy." Jonas picked up his jacket on his way out of the room, casting her one last look and chuckling appreciatively at the view before leaving their house and heading for the SGC.

It wasn't until the hot spray of the shower pelted her back and welcomed her to the world of the living that Sam remembered the address of the planet he was going to.

P3X513.

There was something about it, something she couldn't quite put her finger one.

She shook the thought away and dried herself off, dressing for the day ahead and managing to sign in at the SGC with minutes to spare. General West would have to look elsewhere for a reason to glare at her over mid-morning coffee in the mess hall and she didn't intend on giving him a reason, knowing perfectly well he could find on without her help.

Instead, she made her way to the labs with a spring in her step and a smile on her face. She felt more rested than she had in a long time and she had a husband who loved her.

A husband who was alive, not dead like the faceless people in the nightmare she was rapidly forgetting had said.

She turned a corner, her head in the clouds, and cashed into something – someone – sending her belongings all over the corridor and almost falling to the floor herself.

Two strong arms stopped her from landing flat on her face and Sam looked up to see a brief look of concern in the eyes of a Colonel Jack O'Neill. A look of concern that vanished as soon as he realised who she was.

Her shoulders were released abruptly and the Colonel sidestepped her, joining his companion, Doctor Jackson, who stood smirking a few feet away. "Look where you're going next time," was the gruff warning he issued.

No apology, no offer to help her collect her things. Sam signed as the two men disappeared down the corridor, shaking her head as she bent down to pick up her scattered belongings.

Some things would never change.

She reached for a folder only to have it picked up for her and looked up to find the third member of SG-1 holding it out for her.

Teal'c, the alien who didn't quite fit in but who'd won a place on the team because of his knowledge of the Goa'uld and because of his act of courage in saving Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson from their impending death.

"Thank you." She took the folder he offered and in return gave him a tentative smile.

"You are most welcome, Colonel Carter." He stood up in unison with her and opened his mouth to say more.

"Hey Teal'c! We haven't got all day you know." The shout from the end of the hallway ruined the moment and he inclined his head and quickly moved away from her and down the corridor to join his teammates.

Sam shook her head in bewilderment and collected the rest of her things, her mind too surprised by the act of kindness to realise his mistake.

Some things would never change but others obviously did.

* * *

SG-1, led by General O'Neill, arrived at the planet accompanied by SG-2 and SG-13. Under Jack's instruction, the three teams spread out and began searching the planet for any sign of Fifth or his smaller replicator family.

After three hours of fruitless searching, Colonel David Dixon of SG-13 radioed in to say his team had found Fifth – and that the replicator human was dazed, confused and was claiming he knew nothing about Colonel Carter's condition.

"A likely story," Jack muttered sarcastically, taking his finger off the radio button. He kept his eyes on their surroundings and waited until Teal'c and Daniel joined him. "Okay, Dixon, I'm sending Teal'c and Daniel over to your position with the Ancient weapon. Head towards the 'gate and I'll meet you there in ten minutes.

"Do you not think it unwise to separate, O'Neill? You are assuming that Fifth is alone on this planet."

Jack shrugged and held out the Ancient weapon for Daniel to take. "If Fifth had company, he wouldn't have waited till Carter was alone to attack."

"Keep your radio ready," Daniel advised, taking the weapon and reluctantly taking a step away. "Just in case."

Jack nodded but didn't answer. He wasn't a rookie needing instruction and part of him resented being treated as such. But, knowing the comment stemmed from concern at the thought of losing another friend, he let the comment slide and told himself it wasn't a dig at his recent change to a less active role in the SGC.

Pondering thoughts along those lines, and also wondering if Fifth would help Carter and if not, what they could do as an alternative, Jack caught himself walking too far away from the others and turned with the intention of retracing his steps and doubling back to where he'd started.

A good plan but one he was unable to do.

As soon as he turned, he realised he wasn't alone.

And he realised he should have listened to Daniel.

"You look remarkably like someone…" The rest of his sentence was lost even as one hand moved to his gun and the other moved to his radio.

His companion stared at him through eyes that were uneasily familiar and pounced, pushing him down with superior strength and agility, hands going to his neck and squeezing.

Not tight enough to kill but enough to deprive his lungs of air. Enough to make his vision swim and cloud over and eventually turn to black.

When Teal'c and Daniel led SG-2 and SG-13 to the place they'd left the General fifteen minutes later, they found only his gun, radio and discarded backpack.

No sign of General O'Neill or his GDO.

No sign of the person who'd taken him away.

Fifth studied the ground even as the others started a futile search, masking a look of surprise just in time to stop the humans from seeing it.

Managing to mask his pain at the betrayal.

After an hour, Colonel Dixon took charge and ordered them all back to the SGC. They could return later, in greater numbers, to look for the missing General, after they'd interrogated their suspect.

After they found out what was going on.

* * *

Early evening, or maybe a little later, Pete ventured out of the observation room to stretch his legs and find something to eat. Doctor Brightman had been called away a few hours ago to deal with situation and he'd been assigned an SF to watch over him – probably to stop him from doing something stupid like walk down into Sam's room and purposely infect himself with whatever virus it was threatening to take her away from him.

"Is there somewhere I can get something to eat?"

The SF looked at him blankly for several seconds, then blinked, almost as if realising he was being spoken to. "There's the mess hall," he answered eventually, a little vaguely. "I could take you there."

"Thanks. That would be good." Pete forced a small smile and fought back the sarcastic retort that immediately sprang to mind.

They slowly made their way to the mess hall and Pete knew it wasn't just his imagination when the conversations dried up, sentences dying on everyone's lips as they passed only to start up again when they thought he was out of earshot. By the time he'd reached the mess hall, he'd managed to put together some pieces of the puzzle that had the military base buzzing: General O'Neill was missing and thee teams who operated out of the facility had managed to find and restrain an individual referred to as a number who was being interrogated about both the General's disappearance and Sam's illness.

Pete settled down at the table with his silent companion and prodded the macaroni and cheese on his place. He was largely uninterested in eating but managed to stomach a few bites to satisfy the virtually non-existent pangs of hunger.

"I'm ready to go back now."

The SF nodded and stood, making Pete feel like a prisoner being escorted back to his cell. In a way he was. He was certainly as helpless as a prisoner, definitely beginning to eel as frustrated as one.

On their way back, the silence started to get too much for him. He needed to hear someone else's voice, needed something to focus on other than his own revolving thoughts. "Do you have a name?"

The SF gave him a curious sidelong glance before averting his gaze on the path ahead. "Frank. My name's Frank."

"Okay, Frank." Pete mustered a small, friendly smile, hoping to break the ice a little more. "So have you worked here long?" Silence. "I'm not trying to get you to tell me anything I'm not supposed to known, I'm just curious." More silence. Pete sighed. "I was just wondering how well you knew Sam. I'm her fiancé, you know. We're supposed to be getting married…" Another sigh, accompanied by a helpless shrug. "I guess I feel like I don't know her as well as I should. I know a bit about what she does here but I don't know if she really likes it, if she gets on with all of her colleagues and not just the ones I've met. I guess I want – no, need – to know if this is a common occurrence. If it's something she's going to bounce back from."

There was more silence. They reached the observation room and retook their seats. Pete resigned himself to another hour, to countless more hours of silence and stared at the woman lying motionless below.

"Colonel Carter is very highly respected." The sound of Frank's voice startled him. Pete turned slowly in his seat to see the slightly younger man staring at him with a cautious expression on his face, sympathy in his eyes. "I don't know her personally but she's very well liked. She… She's not like some of the others. Some of the higher-ranking officers just walk by and pretend we don't exist or maybe they just don't see us. Colonel Carter is different, so is General O'Neill. They'll nod or smile. They acknowledge everyone so you feel like you're important. So you feel like you matter."

Pete nodded slowly and smiled briefly. "That's good to know," he managed weakly, his gaze travelling back to his fiancée as he mused that maybe he did know her after all. "Do you know if… Does this kind of thing happen regularly?"

Frank nodded vigorously. "You kind of expect it when you work here, especially if you're on a SG-team. SG-1 – Colonel Carter's team – more than others."

And maybe he didn't know her as well as he'd like to think he did. Or maybe he knew her, had listened to her warnings about what being involved with her would entail and had ignored it because it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Has Sam been in this position before? How many times has she been in a life or death situation because of her work here?"

The question made Frank uncomfortable and Pete watched as he threw a nervous glance towards the stairs. "I don't know if I should say this…"

"Go on," Pete coaxed, sitting on the edge of his seat. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Colonel Carter… The members of SG-1 have been through more life threatening instances than most. Colonel Carter alone has been shot, kidnapped, infected or taken over more times than I can count on both hands." Frank smiled weakly at the look of horror on Pete's face. "It's part of the job, part of the risk everyone who works here knows and accepts. It might sound like a lot but in the grand scheme of things, it's worth it."

Pete wasn't so sure but said nothing. He was sure to the people who worked at the SGC, to those who put their lives on the line, that it did seem like it was worth it. He thought the risks he took as a cop were worth it, too – or had done, up until this moment in his life.

Up until this moment when he realised just what his ex-wife had meant when she complained about his hero mentality, when he realised how she much have felt with him risking his life time and time again in the line of duty, unable to do anything but sit on the sidelines and watch. Watch their lives pass them by, never knowing if today would be the day when there was a knock at the door and a grim face on the other side there to break the news in person.

He knew those people. He had been one of those people, taking his fair share of house calls where he was the one who had to break the life-altering news that a loved one was dead. He had never thought he'd be on the receiving end of one of those calls and now that he was… Pete wasn't sure if it was something he could live with, something he could accept.

"I'm sure Colonel Carter will pull through," Frank murmured consolingly, guessing at the direction Pete's thoughts had taken. "She's been through worse and come out smiling. SG-1 are pretty amazing like that."

Pete didn't doubt that they were but the thought that Sam had been through worse was of no comfort to him. The two men lapsed into silence, a silence that was only broken three hours later when Pete realised his fiancée was no longer alone.

* * *

"So you're saying you have nothing to do with Sam's condition?" Daniel walked beside Teal'c and Fifth, ever conscious of the weapon in his teammates hand. After two hours of interrogation, Fifth still maintained that he knew nothing of Sam's condition and was being escorted to the infirmary to see if he could help. "You don't know what caused it, how the replicators got in her bloodstream in the first place?"

"I did not say that." Fifth gave him a small look of contempt. "Had you been there when Teal'c and Colonel Dixon were questioning me, you would already know."

Daniel rolled his eyes, asked a glance at Teal'c. The Jaffa said nothing but held on to the weapon in his hand as though he was expecting Fifth to attempt an escape. "Then why don't you sum it up for me, that way you don't have to listen to me ask the same questions over and over again."

"As I told Colonel Dixon and Teal'c, I believe Colonel Carter's condition is partly my doing though I hold no responsibility for infecting her. I did not know this was even possible." Fifth kept his eyes locked straight ahead, showing no surprise or interest at his surroundings. He already knew how it looked, had known before he'd arrived. He remembered being in this place through the memories and minds of the members of SG-1 he'd once helped hold captive. "I created another like me when my brethren were based on Orilla. I believe it is she who is responsible for this situation though I do not understand why."

"She?" Again, Daniel looked to Teal'c first for answers but a slight clenching of the jaw was all he got. "You said 'she'?"

"Yes." Fifth stopped as the SF's leading them paused outside a room with closed blast doors. "A replicator in human form, like me."

Daniel stopped walking, his blood running cold as realisation dawned. "Would I be right in assuming…?"

"That the replicator Fifth speaks of was created in Colonel Carter's image." Teal'c stared at the replicator in obvious distrust. "Doctor Brightman." His gaze shifted to land on the doctor as she approached. "Fifth believes he may be able to assist Colonel Carter."

"Assist?" Doctor Brightman repeated, her eyebrows rising in question. "Not cure?"

"I do not believe it is possible to remove the replicator pieces from Colonel Carter's body without injuring her further." Fifth addressed the doctor, assessing her. He had no recollection of this female and was intrigued by her presence. "However I am hopeful that I may be able to render them dormant so that they cause her no more harm."

"What about the delusions?" Doctor Brightman stared at her curiously. "It's no good helping her regain consciousness if she doesn't believe this life is hers."

Fifth inclined his head. "I believe that can be rectified. I believe I can enter Colonel Carter's mind and influence the reality she has created for herself. I can either bring her reality inline with this one or I can encourage her to realise that her imagination is misleading her."

"You want to enter her mind?" Daniel gaped at him, then gaped at Teal'c. "And you agreed to that?"

Teal'c turned his head to look at him. "Do you have an alternate suggestion, Daniel Jackson?"

The answer was an obvious no. Daniel looked from Teal'c to Doctor Brightman to Fifth and signed in resignation, his shoulders slumping. He had no choice but to go alone with it, no choice but to hope they were doing the right thing and that they'd somehow get both of their missing friends back in one piece.

* * *

The locker room was empty. She didn't know if it had cleared out especially for her, to give her space, or whether people were avoiding it because they knew she was there.

It didn't matter.

Nothing mattered.

Sam sat no the wooden bench in the middle of the room, staring sightlessly into the box of belongings she'd cleared from Jonas' locker, including the flag she'd been presented with just a few hours before.

She was a widow. Her husband was gone and he wouldn't be coming back. No more stolen kisses after he cornered her in the labs, no being woken up with kisses when he had to say goodbye. No more walking into the labs to find a rose or wildflower he'd picked on his way to work prominently displayed on her workstation.

The house would have to be sold, too. It was more his than hers, and far too big for her alone. They'd planned to have children, a plan put on hold when they'd separated and eventually decided to give their marriage another chance. They'd chosen the big house to make sure there would be plenty of room but in hindsight there was too much. Sam wondered if maybe they'd tempted fate by buying it with children in mind.

She reached into the box, her fingers brushing against and tangling with the smooth material of the flag before she dug deeper and encountered the photograph she'd found taped to the inside of his locker.

Them.

On their wedding day.

It wasn't one of the photographs they'd posed for. It wasn't one they'd chosen to be framed. It had been taken when neither were prepared for it, when they'd been in a natural state sitting at the top table, leaning into each other, smiling at each other, lost in a world where only the two of them existed.

She'd forgotten it had been taken, hadn't realised it was no longer in the back of the album where she'd put it after getting the print back from the photographer and now here it was. Burning her fingers, reminding her of all she'd lost.

"Lieutenant Carter."

She didn't turn at the voice or even look up from the picture in her hands. Teal'c moved further into the room and joined her on the bench. Ever since Jonas had gone missing, ever since General West had told her SG-9 was overdue, Teal'c had been there for her. She didn't know why, maybe because she was the only one who didn't treat him as the token alien, maybe because he was as lonely as she now was. Whatever the reason she was grateful to him for being there, for bring the one who'd broken the news of her husband's death and for being the one to hold her as she cried.

"I'm okay." It was a lie and they both knew it but Sam managed a tremulous smile and tenderly returned the picture to the top of the box. "Well I'm not, but I will be."

Teal'c nodded in understanding and gazed at her with concerned eyes. "I requested that I be allowed to return with you to your home so you would not be alone."

"And I bet General West said no." It had been Teal'c's idea to ask but the more Sam thought about it, the more she thought she'd like the company to help keep the ghosts away.

"General West was not there." Teal'c watched as her eyes flickered towards him, a brief look of surprise arranging her features and replacing the grief that seemed to have taken up residency in the lines and shadows of her face.

"He wasn't? Why?"

Teal'c's lips quirked slightly. "A man by the name of General Hammond. I believe General West will not be returning."

"General George Hammond?" She gaped at him, her jaw slightly ajar. "He's here?"

"He is. He authorised my leaving the SGC on the condition that I would not attempt to leave and see more of your world on my own. I assured him that I would not leave your home until you requested it."

A smile broke out across her face then, a genuine smile that almost had Teal'c smiling in return. "That's good. It's great. General Hammond served with my father," she told him enthusiastically, the dimness of her eyes fading into a sparkle he thought he might never see again. "He's a good man, very fair." Her eyes shone as she looked at him, a shy smile arranging her lips. "I'm pleased you can come with me, too. I don't know if I could be alone right now."

His hand moved to cover hers momentarily. Sam glanced down at their fingers, at the contrast of light skin against dark, and smiled softly, grateful for his companionship, for his kindness.

For his friendship.

* * *

Fifth withdrew his hand and tenderly drew his finger along the shape of her cheek before withdrawing into himself. He straightened and turned, facing the small group that had gathered behind him.

"I have begun to influence the reality she has created," he announced, his eyes searching for and finding Teal'c among the small crowd. "Her subconscious had already attempted to create a common bond between the reality she knows and the one she has fabricated. I merely built on that bond and started creating the relationships she has now that she was denying herself."

"That's good. I think." Doctor Brightman relaxed marginally and clasped her hands in front of her.

"It's good for Sam but we've still got a pretty big problem on our hands." Colonel Dixon spoke up when a momentary silence fell over them. "We need to find Jack." He glanced behind him at the hallway where they all heard the sounds of a disturbance. "And someone needs to explain what's going on to the Detective."

The small group looked at each other.

"I'll talk to Detective Shanahan," Doctor Brightman volunteered with a sigh. "I don't know what I'm going to tell him but I'm sure I can make something up to explain Fifth's presence. As long as we don't let him see his methods of trying to help Colonel Carter we should be okay there."

"We will return to P4X897 and start the search for O'Neill," Teal'c declared. "Colonel Dixon, did you alert General Hammond to the situation?"

Dixon nodded and let a small grin slip through. "He's on his way from Washington. He said he's talked it over with the President and it's been agreed he act as base commander till we get Jack back. When General Hammond gets here, SG-13 will be happy to assist you in looking for Jack."

"I guess that means I'm staying here," Daniel mused with a pointed glance at Fifth. "I'll try getting in touch with the Asgard, too. They might be able to help locate Jack and, ah, the other Sam."

"She will not be found easily," Fifth interjected with a blank expression that gave nothing away. "She retains most of Colonel Carter's memories and excels at stealth."

His comment went ignored. The group continued to make plans and Fifth soon found himself being escorted from the room back to his holding cell. General Hammond arrived less than an hour later and SG-13 plus Teal'c left once again for P4X897. Daniel settled himself in the control room and began attempting to make contact with the Asgard while Doctor Brightman prepared her cover story for Detective Shanahan.

Lying wasn't something that came to her easily and it was made harder when the person she had to lie to was a detective trained to see through deception.

"So… That guy is a healer?" Pete repeated, sitting in the quarters he'd been assigned for the night. "From another planet?"

"Yes." She hoped the smile she'd fixed on her face was genuine enough to fool him. "One of our teams came across his people on a mission a few months ago. It's possible he will be able to help us combat the virus in Colonel Carter's system."

Pete stared at her unblinkingly, setting her on edge. "And he's immune, too, I take it? So it's okay for him to be in the room with her?"

Doctor Brightman hesitated as her mind whirled and tried to find a believable answer to settle on. "His race has a different physiology to ours. It makes it almost impossible for the virus to spread to him."

"And the reason I can't watch when he's working with her? The reason the window cover has to be down?"

"Because he needs privacy to do his work," Doctor Brightman covered quickly, hoping the answer wasn't too quick. "He comes from a very private people. They don't like crowds when they're working, it breaks their concentration and makes healing their patients virtually impossible."

"And you think this is helping her?" The questions kept coming and Pete kept staring at her with suspicious eyes. "You, as a doctor, have some belief that this method of healing might help Sam?"

Doctor Brightman hesitated and eventually shrugged. "I have my doubts but then I'm generally a sceptical person. I have seen, ah, evidence that his methods could help Colonel Carter's unique situation. I know it must be hard for you. Your fiancée is ill and we're unable to fully explain it but believe me when I say that no one here wants anything bad to happen to Colonel Carter. She's a very well liked member of this facility, highly respected. We will do anything and everything we can to save her, I promise you that."

After a long pause, Pete nodded slowly, clasping his hands in front of him and staring down at the floor. "Okay. Thank you, Doctor, for trying to explain it to me." He glanced up and around the sparse room that would be his home until there was a development in Sam's condition and sighed. "Would you mind leaving now?" He shrugged uncomfortably and managed to a smile to take the edge from his words. "I'm tired, it's been a long day."

"Of course." Doctor Brightman smiled, her relief evident, and began edging towards the door. "If you need anything, there'll be someone stationed outside at all times. Just let them know if you're hungry or if you want to go back to the observation room for a while."

"I will. Thank you."

Pete waited for the door to shut behind her and lay back on the bed, staring up at the grey ceiling as his thoughts began to consume him.

Doctor Brightman escaped to her office, pouring herself a strong cup of coffee before sitting at her desk and reopening Colonel Carter's file.

It would be a long, sleepless night for them both and the woman lying in the infirmary would never be far from their minds.

One would be doing her best to make sure that woman had a future, and the other would be trying to decide if there was room for him in it.

* * *

The first thing he was aware of when he woke up was the colour of the walls all around him.

Grey.

Great.

The one colour that seemed to follow him wherever he went.

At that moment in time he would've given anything – everything – to be staring at the dark grey walls of the infirmary or even of a holding cell or his office back at the SGC. Even if it did mean having to confront the paperwork piled up on his desk and having to make the oh-so-difficult choice between mashed potato or fries for the mess hall that day.

He tried, at first, to imagine the grey walls surrounding him were those of his office but the illusion didn't work. For one thing, the walls of his office weren't made up of replicator pieces. For another he generally sat at his desk instead of in the corner of the room on a floor that was a perfect replica – no pun intended – of the walls and the ceiling and everything else he could see.

The wall at the far end started to crumble and Jack pushed himself up, rising to his feet as his captor entered the room, the gap closing instantly behind her, killing any hope he had of being let go.

He had to keep reminding himself that although she looked like Carter, although she was a perfect copy – a twin, as it were – for the woman he'd known for over eight years, she certainly wasn't that woman.

The real Carter wouldn't be holding him hostage and as much as he hated to admit it, the real Carter was probably still lying in her bed in the infirmary fighting for her life.

"Do you know why you are here?" The replicator Carter stood in front of him with her hands resting on her hips and Jack couldn't have failed to notice the colour of her outfit.

Grey.

Great.

He fixed the most non-committal expression he could muster on his face and shrugged in response to her question. "Not really, no."

"But you know who I am?" She pressed, her blue eyes narrowing in determination.

They were cold. Colder than Carter's. And somehow… young. Innocent.

"Nope. Can't say I do. Sorry," he added as an afterthought. "You look like someone I know but you're not her."

His answer didn't please her; the scowl on her face was testament to that. "How do you know?"

"Well, the bugs are a dead give away for one." The flippant answer came to him immediately and Jack found himself checking the corners of the room to make sure none of her friends had entered with her. "And the clothes," he continued, his gaze wandering back to her face as he motioned to her with a wave of his hand. "Carter would never been caught dead in those clothes. Grey just isn't her colour. It's a ego thing."

The look that crossed her face should have warned him for what was coming.

It didn't.

She smirked and raised a hand to the back of her neck. The grey garment she was wearing was shed quickly and easily. He caught himself staring at her and yanked his gaze away, forcing himself to focus on the ground at her feet where the grey material formed a dirty puddle. "Is this better?"

"Ah, no. I'd go with the grey. Lovely colour," he continued, finding his gaze start to rise up her legs but somehow managing to force it back down to her feet. "Brings out the, ah, the grey in your eyes. Yeah. Your eyes."

A shadow of disappointment flickered in her eyes briefly but he missed it. She straightened her spine and walked over to him, completely at ease and unfazed by her own nudity.

"I was hoping my memories were wrong," she murmured when she stood no more than a foot away. "That she wasn't as stupid as I feared."

"Stupid?" His eyes snapped up to hers then and he kicked himself mentally at the look of satisfaction that appeared on her face. He held her gaze determinedly, refusing to look down. "Carter… Carter's not stupid. You must be talking about someone else."

His gaze shifted, lowering to her neck but he managed to catch himself again and focused on the wall beyond her bare shoulder.

Her naked, bare-to-his-gaze shoulder.

Carter's naked bare-to-his-gaze shoulder… but not her naked bare shoulder.

The woman in front of him wasn't Carter. He had to remember that.

The woman in front of him was, however, very amused by his reaction and moved, taking a step closer, walking around him. She stood at his shoulder, looking at his profile. "If she's not stupid then why is she blind to see what I can see so easily?"

"Really?" Jack started to let himself relax but his shoulders tensed when he sensed her shift behind him, felt a slight pressure on his arm and looked down to see a very Carter-like hand resting there. "So what do you think you see that she doesn't?"

"The truth behind her feelings," the replicator answered calmly. "The truth behind our feelings, for you," she clarified. "That you're the one we want to be with." She shook her head as she moved to face him, her hand lingering on his arm. "Yet I see in your eyes that you and she have never been lovers." Her hand travelled up his arm, up his neck, fingers trailing along the side of his face until they entangled themselves in his hair, a sad but knowing smile curling the corners of her lips. "And I see in your mind that she's committed herself to another." She shrugged and let her hand pause at his face for a few seconds, pulling away only when she took a step back and half-turned away from him. "I don't understand how someone so smart can be so stupid where her own feelings are involved."

"She has her reasons." Jack found himself watching her saunter away but refused to let his gaze move lower than her upper back. He shifted uncomfortably and looked away when she turned around, catching a brief glimpse skin he thought he'd never see. "Would you mind putting your clothes back on? Then we can talk." He shrugged and kept his gaze glued to the floor. "I'll try and answer your questions, I promise."

"Good." The replicator Carter smiled and bent down to pick up the outfit she'd stripped out of not long before. "You can start by telling me why you didn't stop her," she murmured, pulling the garment up and reaching behind her to fasten it as she felt his eyes move back to her. "Why you didn't tell her to say no when you had the chance."

* * *

Time passed so quickly, Sam could barely believe it had been a year since Jonas died, a year since General West had left the SGC. General Hammond had made so many changes in such a short period of time, she was still trying to catch her breath and find her feet.

She was a Captain, newly promoted. Reviewing the personnel files was one of the first things General Hammond had done and over the past twelve months there had been more promotions in the SGC than there had been in the previous two years put together.

A lot of those promotions were for the female members of staff, too. General Hammond had noticed immediately that there was a big difference between the amount of recommendations General West had made for the male and female personnel under his command and he'd taken it upon himself to correct that – with the support of the President and the Joint Chiefs, of course.

Her promotion had been one of the more recent ones but she had been told by General Hammond that if she kept working the way she was, she'd most likely make Major in two years and then after that, who knew where she could go?

It was an amazing experience, an amazing feeling to finally get the recognition she deserved and at first, a little intimidating.

Life without Jonas had at first been hard to accept – he'd been a big part of her life before, a constant presence, the one constant she had. No matter what else had happened to her, she could always rely on her husband being there for her when things got rough. But as the days passed and the weeks turned into months, Sam became more and more aware of the newfound freedom she possessed.

A freedom she hadn't truly been able to have since before she'd met him.

Even during their year's separation, he'd been involved in her life. They worked at the same place – Jonas had been assigned to the SGC the week after they'd decided to go their separate ways, which had made it difficult for her to start a new life without him. Sure, she'd been involved with other people – well, one other person – and had heard through the base grapevine that he wasn't staying celibate in her absence at home but he'd still been there.

She'd still seen him around, still bumped into him in corridors around corners… She'd still been aware of his presence and hadn't felt as though she were able to do everything and anything she wanted as a single, commitment-free single person could.

As much as she loved him, as guilty as she felt for enjoying her freedom, Sam couldn't deny that she was growing into a much better person without his domineering presence in her life. It wasn't that he'd been a negative influence, not purposely, but as his wife, she'd changed her way, changed her attitude to fit alongside his. She'd changed to be the wife he wanted instead of the woman she thought she should be.

Freedom, independence and a promotion weren't the only changes in her life.

She'd sold their house and moved into a smaller place of her own. She'd made friends – Doctor Fraiser was quickly becoming a close, personal friend she felt she could tell anything to instead of just a confidante in a professional capacity. Through her friendship with Teal'c, as his teammates had accepted him they'd also learnt to accept her – a good thing since General Hammond had decided SG-1 needed a fourth member and had somehow got it in his head that she'd be perfect for the role.

So she was in training for that, too. She had gone on five missions to date with the infamous SG-1 and for some reason didn't find the two other members of the team to resent her presence as much as she'd expected them to. Doctor Jackson was warm towards her, almost friendly – and he insisted she call him Daniel. And Colonel O'Neill wasn't half as impatient as she'd feared. He gave her time to do her tests, indulged her by listening to her spout various theories and was patient with her when she found something she was particularly excited or enthusiastic about.

Life was changing for her and it was good. Unexpected but good.

"Hey, Carter, let's go already." She looked up and found the Colonel in question standing in the doorway of the lab – her lab – and immediately felt a smile appear on her face in answer to the tolerant grin on his. "Hammond's waiting for us in the briefing room. Time to find out what SG-8 made of those people on Naysa."

"Nasya. It's called Nasya, Sir," she corrected instantly, pushing herself up and gathering a notepad and pen. She glanced around her lab, checking everything that should be switched off was and moved to the doorway to join him, unsurprised to find Teal'c and Daniel standing outside in the hallway. "I take it it's a given that SG-1 will be getting the follow-up mission?"

"Yup. Danny boy here wants to go check it out. Don't know why.

The man in question shook his head and sighed. "You'd know if you listened, Jack. I did tell you."

Sam and Teal'c exchanged an amused look and dropped back, walking slightly behind their teammates, listening to the banter as it continued all the way from her lab to the briefing room.

Her life was definitely changing and she couldn't help but be relieved that it was.

* * *

Fully dressed, the Replicator Carter ordered her smaller counterparts to form seats for both her and her captive. She watched him, studied him, trying to reconcile the man sitting uneasily opposite her with the one she had memories of.

Fifth had been surprised to find she had all of the recollections of her human twin – and would no doubt have been disappointed if he'd leaned she had the feelings, too. It was a flaw of sorts, a side effect of being the first replicator built in the image of a real person – the first real replica.

She was the first of her kind who didn't start life as an empty shell, who didn't have to learn about life and living through her own first hand experiences. The others had downloaded the knowledge Fifth had taken from the then Major Carter's mind and stored it in their memories, ready for her to upload when she was ready to consume the information. The human brain was like a computer, she likened, so her brain was like a humans.

"I make you uncomfortable." It was a statement rather than a question but she could see his struggle to find an answer play out across his face. "It is not my intention to hurt you. I have no desire to cause you harm, Colonel O'Neill."

"It's General now actually." He looked at the floor, at the ceiling, at the wall behind her. Everywhere but at her and it was beginning to frustrate her. "I, ah, got promoted. So did Carter." His eyes found hers then and she was momentarily surprised at the heat in his. "You remember Carter. The original Carter. The one you tried to kill?"

She continued to stare at him, holding his gaze. Taking full advantage of the benefit she had of not needing to blink. "I did not try to kill her. I don't wish to see her dead."

Jack snorted derisively. "So you infected her with an incurable disease because, what, you thought you'd like to make friends with the woman you're a cheap imitation of?"

"It is not incurable." She wanted to flinch at his words but refused to show any sign of weakness. She wasn't human after all. She was far superior – everything good and strong about humans with none of the flaws. She let the corners of her mouth quirk up into a slightly knowing smile and tilted her head to contemplate him, to observe his reaction to her words. "I will tell you how to cure her once you have answered my questions. Your friends are looking for you as you hope but they will not find you. Not until I am ready for them to."

"You know how to cure her?"

She saw the hope written clearly across his face before he attempted to cover it up. "I'm sure if she was able to she would realise the solution herself. I must say I'm surprised none of your people have discovered it already. Maybe I misjudged you. Maybe she is the only one out of your people with a mind to rival my own."

"That mind was hers first." The words were harsh, the feeling beneath them clear.

She smiled when she realised she had his full attention and leaned forward in her chair – noticing with disappointment at the back of her mind that he immediately leaned away. "Now for my questions. Why didn't you say anything to her? Why not try to stop her? I know you wanted to, I saw a range of possibilities play out in your mind… Why didn't you choose one of those options instead of letting her think you don't care?"

The mirage of emotions that flittered over his face intrigued and amused her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He eventually settled for a blank expression, for the oblivious route. "It's not like that between Carter and me."

Her only response was the arch an eyebrow and lean back in her chair. She studied him for several long moments and decided to try another approach. Shrugging her shoulders, she started to get out of her chair. "If you're not going to cooperate we'll have to do this another way." She stood then and held out a hand, fingers out stretched, reaching for his forehead. To his credit, he managed to suppress a wince and sat completely still. Her fingertips brushed the skin of his brow and she smiled gently, adopting an apologetic expression. "Of course since you didn't keep your end of the deal this means I'm under no obligation to help you save her."

Her words prompted a reaction. A small one but it was a reaction nevertheless. She suppressed a smug smile and walked to stand behind him, her hands moving to rest on his tense shoulders. "Is that what you want, General? To force me to find and take the information I want, hurting you, and then for you to go free only to watch her die?" She gave his shoulders a small squeeze and started to withdraw, making a show of readying herself for the invasion. "I suppose if she really means so little to you as you claim, her death won't weigh too heavily on your conscience."

His hand moved and caught hers as it started to edge closer to his head. "I'll tell you what you want to know." His voice sounded rough, his words forced out. "But first you tell me how to save Carter."

"I'm not stupid, Jack, you forget who I take after." The Replicator shook her head but made no attempt at pulling her hand away from his. It was the first time he'd willingly touched her, the first time she could remember as herself and not as a vague recollection from Colonel Carter's memory.

"If I don't tell you what you want to know after you've told me you don't need to let me go." His grip on her hand loosened and she was surprised to feel strangely bereft without it. It reminded her she wasn't the Carter she remembered being. That the concern and worry and mild desperation in his eyes weren't for her and never would be. "You're the one in control here. It's up to you if and when you let me go."

A thoughtful expression took over her face and Jack was momentarily struck by how identical to Carter she was. Apart from the eyes. The eyes were too cool, too unaware. She might thing she was a perfect replica for Carter but her eyes gave her away. There was something missing from those eyes when she looked at him, replaced by an interest too obvious to belong to his Carter.

His Carter. No. He had no right to call her that, even in his head. The Replicator was putting thoughts in his head that didn't belong there. That had no place being there.

"Okay." Her voice – and her agreement – took his by surprise. The Replicator smiled in recognition at having startled him and retook her seat, folding her arms over her chest and staring at him in an assessing manner. "I'll tell you how to save Colonel Carter and then you answer my questions. No hesitations, no delays." The smile widened slightly, her expression knowing. "If you waste time you risk not getting back to her in time. If ever. Is that understood?"

Jack nodded and crossed his arms over his chest, mimicking her gesture as his unease grew in the pit of his stomach. "Understood."

* * *

She sat in the middle of the deserted mess hall, contemplating the velvet box on the table in front of her in the darkened room. It was rare that anyone would venture to the mess hall so late at night and she was taking advantage of finally having somewhere quiet to sit and think.

Another year and a half had gone by and here she was, facing the prospect of once again becoming someone's wife. It wasn't exactly a bad thought but it wasn't one she was all too sure about committing to once again.

She'd been enjoying the single life, revelled in the ability to flirt with the single men who in turn flirted with her. Enjoyed being able to do what she wanted when she wanted.

Was she ready to give that freedom up?

To be with Pete?

A voice in the back of her mind said no. It said that it was a pretty big sign she wasn't ready for such a commitment if she needed so much time to think about it. Another voice said that maybe she would be ready to say yes if someone else had asked her, suggesting that maybe the ring sitting harmlessly on the table in front of her was from the wrong man.

But the other man… He hadn't asked. He hadn't shown much interest in ever asking. Sure, they flirted and she enjoyed the friendship that had formed between them in two and a half years but sometimes the intensity of that friendship scared her.

Sometimes she wanted more, sometimes she didn't. No matter what she wanted, though, she was conscious of the fact it was wrong.

It couldn't happen.

Not unless something major changed – pardon the pun. Her promotion to Major had come just a few days ago and it was during the impromptu party SG-1 had thrown in her honour that Pete had decided to take her to one side and propose.

They had been dating so it wasn't completely out of the blue. He'd left it a year after Jonas died to approach her and first made suggestions that maybe they should give their relationship another go. At the time she'd wanted some company and her teammates, one teammate in particular, had begun to distance himself from her after they'd both been forced to make revelations neither was ready for.

Her relationship with Pete had gone on from there, starting off slowly but quickly finding its way back to the point it had been at before Sam had decided she owed it to herself and to Jonas to give her marriage another chance.

"Ahem." She jumped, startled, at the sound of someone clearing their throat and looked to the doorway of the mess hall to find Colonel O'Neill standing just over the threshold, looking as though he wanted to walk further into the room but was wary of intruding.

"Sir!" She started to get to her feet, embarrassed at having been caught, but he waved her down emphatically and made up his mind, taking another step into the room.

Jack sauntered over to her table, his hands in his pockets. He hadn't come to the mess hall in search of her – more in the search of a piece of pie for a late-night snack – but now he'd seen her, he couldn't leave the room and act as if he hadn't. "At ease, Carter."

"I thought you'd gone home for the night."

He watched her shift uneasily, watched her eyes flicker to the box on the table. "Yeah. Changed my mind. Thought I'd come for pie." He saw a small smile tug at the corners of her mouth but also saw her try to stop it and suppressed a sigh. Things hadn't been the same between them ever since that damn confession – and they'd been worse ever since the night of her promotion and he didn't know why. Or he hadn't known. The box on the table was a small giveaway. "So. That's a nice looking box." He helped himself to the seat opposite her and motioned to it with his head, keeping the gesture casual, keeping his expression calm. "Anything interesting inside?"

Sam shrugged and fought the urge to grab the box, put it in her pocket and escape to her quarters. She didn't want to tell him. She didn't want to see his reaction, didn't know what reaction she wanted to see. "A ring. A engagement ring," she clarified, the words tumbling out before she could stop them.

"Really?" The look of surprise on his face was genuine as was the flicker of hurt that appeared momentarily in his eyes. It was then Sam realised he hadn't known. No one had told him about Pete and why should they? He was her commanding officer. Nothing more, nothing less. That's what she kept telling herself, anyway. "So who's the guy?"

"An old friend," she answered quickly, lowering her gaze to the box. "Pete. He's a cop."

Jack felt his eyes travel to the box then back to her face, getting his reaction back under control. "Old friend or old flame?"

"A bit of both, really," she admitted, biting her bottom lip. "He's been checking up on me a lot for the last two years. Ever since Jonas…"

"I got." He interrupted understandingly before her voice could start to trail off. "So. You gonna say yes?"

Sam shrugged and lifted her gaze to his before answering honestly. "I don't know."

"If you don't know I think you have your answer."

"It's not that easy, Sir." She faltered at the gentleness of his voice. "It's complicated."

Their eyes locked and Jack shrugged a shoulder, careful to keep his expression neutral. "Explain it to me. You look like you could use talking to someone about it and I don't see anyone else around…"

The reminder that they were alone should have made her uncomfortable. It didn't. She copied his shrug and sighed, her attention wandering once again to the box. "He's a nice guy. I care about him, a lot."

"But…?"

Her cheeks flushed and she glanced away from the table, to the closed doors, half hoping someone else would be in search of a late night snack and interrupt them, giving her an excuse to flee. "But… There might be someone else."

"You think he's got another girl?" Again, the look of surprise on his face was genuine.

"No!" The thought made her want to smile but she kept the smile at bay. Pete didn't have time for another woman in his life; he barely had time for her… Maybe that was the problem, or part of the problem. They were both very busy people and… Sam stopped mid-thought, her cheeks flushing again when she realised he was still waiting for an answer. "No, I mean… There might be someone else for me."

"Oh." His expression returned to the neutral one he'd carefully put in place before but as she held his gaze, realisation sunk. "Oh. Ah… Why just might be?"

She almost smiled again but stopped herself. This was familiar territory for them both: denial with a capital D. "Well I don't know how he feels. I mean we've never really talked about it before…"

"But you like this guy?" He pressed, wondering if he'd asked a little too quickly when her gaze skittered away. "The other one?"

"Yes," came the softly spoken, almost shy reply.

"And you want to find out if there could be something there?"

"Yes." She sighed softly, a sigh of frustration, but kept staring at the doors. "What would you do if you were me?"

Jack leaned back in his chair and studied her, carefully choosing his next words. "I don't know, Carter." He shrugged when her eyes moved back to rest on him. "I guess… I guess I'd want to find out. I'd want to know for sure so I'd know I wasn't settling for someone else."

"You think I should tell him?"

"Pete?"

"No, the other guy. Well, and yes, Pete, too. What should I tell him?" The confused look on his face made her smile and she made no attempts at stopping herself.

"Tell Pete…" He held her gaze and let the corners of his mouth curve upwards into a small grin. "Tell Pete the answer's no. That you need time to think."

"And the other guy?"

Jack shrugged again and lowered his gaze to the box, then back to her face. "Find a way to let him know how you feel."

"Really?" She tilted her head to the side and stared at him curiously. "You really think I should?"

"I do. Really. You'll never know if you don't try." Deciding they'd said too much, that they were getting too close to a line neither was ready to cross, Jack pushed himself up and got to his feet. "Think I'm going to have to call it a night, sorry Carter. Think my age is catching up with me."

Sam nodded and watched him turn towards the door. "Thank you, Sir."

"Anytime," he called back over his shoulder, waving a hand to acknowledge her thanks.

His hand was on the door when she realised she was only marginally better off than she was before. "Sir?"

"Yeah?" He paused in the doorway, turning back to face her.

She opened her mouth to say something, felt heat flood her cheeks and changed her mind, averting her gaze to the floor next to his feet. "What it he doesn't feel the same way? The other guy?"

Jack smiled and stared at the top of her head. "He'd be crazy not to, Carter," he said softly, turning back to face the doors before she looked up. "Night."

"Good night, Sir."

She sat in the middle of the deserted mess hall and stared at the box on the table in front of her. She knew what her answer would be – what it had to be – and started thinking about how to tell Pete what it was.

* * *

Fifth pulled back and stared her prone form, a slight frown arranging his features. He had been trying to influence the reality created by her mind to align with the one she was living in but her subconscious was fighting him every step of the way.

Having her accept Jonas Hanson's death had been difficult.

Having her accept Janet Fraiser's death had been worse, leaving him exhausted and needing to rest before continuing.

Having her accept Detective Shanahan's proposal was proving to be impossible and that disturbed him – not because he wanted her to but because it made him wonder whether he'd made the right choice all those months ago in creating a reality for her to live in in which she and the detective were happily married. Maybe if he'd gone with another approach, she would have been happy to stay with him.

Maybe if he'd probed her mind further, he would have found the information her subconscious was supplying so readily in her vulnerable state.

"Is something wrong?" Daniel Jackson appeared at his elbow and Fifth felt a jolt of irritation. The archaeologist obviously didn't trust him to be alone around Sam and Fifth had heard him request to be told every time Fifth left his holding cell and was brought to the infirmary so that he could be there too. "Did something happen?"

"Everything is fine, Doctor Jackson." He fought to keep the impatience from his voice. "Her subconscious is proving to be very… stubborn."

"Ah. Right." Daniel nodded even as his brow furrowed. "What does that mean?"

Fifth sighed heavily. "It means that she is fighting against some of the changes I am attempting to make. It has taken three attempts to get her mind to accept that Doctor Fraiser is dead and she is still resisting the other changes I am attempting to make."

"Other changes? What other changes are you trying to make?" Daniel made no attempt at hiding his suspicion. "You're sticking to what you said you'd do, aren't you?"

"You would not know if I wasn't," Fifth returned instantly, regretting it when Daniel's eyes narrowed. "You will have to take my word for it, Doctor Jackson. I am not attempting to influence Colonel Carter more so than necessary. I do not believe it would benefit me to attempt to do so. You wouldn't let her believe anything that was not true, would you?"

Daniel gave another nod, crossing his arms over his chest. "That's right, we wouldn't." His eyes strayed to the object of their conversation and the set of his shoulders faltered slightly. "So what is she having trouble accepting?"

"That she is engaged to Detective Shanahan." Fifth saw no reason to hesitate, even as he noticed the doors open and the Detective in question entered on the heels of Doctor Brightman, having finally been granted permission to see his fiancée. "Her mind is convinced that she should not have accepted the proposal."

"Ah… Okay." Daniel glanced over his shoulder and saw the look of shock on Pete's face and the look on Doctor Brightman's that clearly told him to say something to counteract Fifth's comment. "So the virus is making her think she should still be with Jonas?"

"No." Fifth almost smiled at the glares he could feel being directed at him. At the confusion coming towards him from Pete's direction. "Her subconscious believes that she should not be with Detective Shanahan. She has allowed herself to be persuaded to say no three times. I believe her subconscious is re-enacting a conversation that may possibly have taken place in reality but it is changing the outcome of that conversation to what it feels more comfortable with."

"How do you know that?" Pete took another step into the room, forcing legs that felt like concrete to move and carry him over to the stranger beside Sam's bed – the so-called healer. "How do you know what's going on inside her head?"

Fifth smiled uncannily. "It is one of my gifts. I understand Doctor Brightman explained to you that I am… a healer?"

"Yeah, she did." Pete didn't look convinced. "How do you know what you 'see' is really what she's thinking?"

"I could demonstrate my technique if you would like."

"No!"

"No!" Both Doctor Jackson and Doctor Brightman responded vehemently to his offer, just as he'd known they would. "That wouldn't be ethical," Doctor Brightman added quickly on seeing the questioning look appear on Pete's face. "We promised his people that we wouldn't reveal their ways to any outsiders. You know this," she aimed the comment at Fifth with a glare she masked with a smile when Pete looked between them. "It would be disrespectful of your ways."

"And it might mean it stops being effective," Daniel added with a glare he didn't bother trying to hide. "You said you wanted to help Sam. If you show Detective Shanahan how you do it, you won't be able to help her."

'I guarantee it' was the underlying threat.

Fifth bowed his head slightly, hiding another smile that appeared on his face. "I understand your concern, Doctor Jackson. Perhaps I was amiss in offering to demonstrate for Detective Shanahan but I see no other way of assuring him that what I say is the truth."

"Maybe it isn't the truth," Daniel ventured with a quick glance to Doctor Brightman, almost as if he wanted her approval. "We have no way of knowing what this virus has done to Sam's brain. Yes, it might be making her think she shouldn't be engaged to Pete but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to be. It made her think she was married to Hanson and I know that's not something our Sam wanted."

"How can you be so sure?" A hopeful glint appeared in Pete's eyes and Daniel resisted the urge to shuffle his feet uncomfortably.

"Sam had the chance to marry Captain Hanson," he replied slowly, his brain whirling as he thought about what to say. "She broke off the engagement, not the other way around. If she really wanted to marry him she would've done."

Pete nodded but still didn't look convinced. "You said she had a conversation about it," he addressed Fifth, unaware of Daniel and Doctor Brightman shooting one another uneasy glances behind his back. "That you thought it was based on a conversation she had with someone in reality. Who was it?"

"Does that really matter?" Daniel interjected quickly, his suspicions growing when a sly grin broke out across Fifth's face. "It doesn't mean anything, it's all an illusion. If you're really worried about whether or not she wants to marry you, Pete, you can ask her when she wakes up…"

"It matters if she doesn't wake up," Pete answered stiffly. "I know she's not in control of what this guy sees, Doctor Jackson, and I'm sure as hell not going to let him convince me she doesn't love me but I want to know. I'm curious. I want to know what he saw."

"She discussed it first with General O'Neill, Doctor Jackson and Teal'c." Fifth spoke up before either of the doctors could try to dissuade Pete from wanting to hear it. "The second and third time she discussed it with General O'Neill alone."

"Right. That makes sense, you guys are her closest friends." If his hands hadn't been clenched into fists his words could have convinced them he was okay with the revelation. He fixed his gaze on the face of his fiancée. "Would you leave us alone please? I'd like to sit with her for a while."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to stay with you," Doctor Brightman said quickly. "Doctor Jackson, will you escort our guest to his quarters?"

"Of course. Yes." The glare Daniel threw Fifth didn't go unnoticed. "With pleasure."

Fifth let himself be ushered out of the room, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Daniel followed him quickly but said nothing as they completed the walk to the specially modified holding cell that had become Fifth's home.

Pete sat down in the empty chair beside his fiancée's bed, hesitating momentarily before covering her cold hand with his own. "I'm here, Sam," he murmured quietly, making sure only she could hear him. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

He sat there for three long hours, gripping her hand in his, hoping his presence would be enough to make her subconscious accept what Fifth had tried to tell it.

* * *

She left him when her questions had been answered, when her curiosity had been satisfied. Her mind was overflowing with new information to digest and dissect and the Replicator was left feeling more human than she wanted to be.

Less than superior, vulnerable. A child in the eyes of this man she felt she knew well.

After telling him how to cure Colonel Carter, she'd fired question after question at him, on a wide range of subjects from her human counterpart's relationships to his role in her life – and reluctance to change that role – to the Air Force she felt so much a part of and the family and friends she thought she should know more about.

She needed time alone, needed time to think.

She was grieving for Janet, for Doctor Fraiser, a friend she'd never met but missed more than she'd expected. The more they'd talked about her the more she remembered. The more she remembered the more she regretted asking about her in the first place.

She asked about her brother, about his family, about her late mother. She'd been disappointed he couldn't tell her anything more than what she knew but had managed to salvage that part of the conversation by being able to answer some of his questions about her childhood, about the trials and traumas she felt like she'd endured. Colonel Carter had never opened up to him like that and she thought that maybe she'd helped bridge the gaps, maybe play a small part in bringing them closer.

She asked about SG-1, about Teal'c and Daniel, and although he'd been wary at first, he'd answered her questions. She understood his reluctance, knew the standard practises and procedures of the SGC and could easily understand why he thought she was a security risk. But he'd answered her questions patiently, even tolerantly at times and by the end of her questions she thought that maybe he didn't see her quite so much as being a bad person but more like a child trying to understand the new world she was suddenly part of.

She had asked him about her human counterpart's relationship with Pete, with Detective Shanahan and was dismayed by some of his answers. She understood that he wanted her – Colonel Carter – to be happy, that he didn't want to do anything to jeopardise that and she could appreciate it, she really could. It was the nice guy thing to do but… He'd had the chance to tell her to say no. He'd had the chance to tell Colonel Carter exactly how he felt about her but had he?

No.

She understood the regulations but she didn't think they were as important as he thought they were and she didn't think Colonel Carter thought they were as important as she once had.

That had surprised him. It had also surprised him when she explained how she thought Colonel Carter would have interpreted his response to finding out Pete had proposed. He certainly hadn't been expecting her to tell him she suspected his words might have encouraged her counterpart to say yes.

"Why do you think that?" The surprise on his face had been comical.

She had been pleasantly surprised herself that he seemed more comfortably with her since she'd told him how to cure Colonel Carter. He was still on edge, still desperate to leave and she couldn't say they were friends but it was better. Less tense. "You said you wouldn't be there if things were different."

"Yes, but I meant…" His eyes had flickered downwards, his cheeks flushed. "You know what I meant."

"I do now but had I been in her position…" She spoke softly, almost sadly. "We have a knack for complicating things more than they need to be."

"Huh. That's a universal trait in women."

A depreciative smile she couldn't control had shown her agreement. "I think you're right about that. But if I were her, and in a lot of ways I am, I would have immediately assumed that you meant you wouldn't have been at the SGC because you'd be with Sara. Because if things were different you'd be with your wife and son."

"Carter… You think she thought I meant I'd be with Sara?" Confused had caused his brow to crease. "Why?"

"You still love Sara. She knows it. She knew it when you avoided her question at your house, when you stopped her from saying what she really needed to say." She had shaken her head when he'd tried to protest. "That's what she thinks. She isn't the most secure person in the world, she isn't as confident as she wants you to believe. To think that you meant you wouldn't be there if things were different because you'd be with her… That's not something she would be able to accept."

"So you're telling me you think Carter actually… has feelings for me?" His expression matched the incredulous tone of his voice and she had found she wanted to laugh. "Even though she's engaged to Pete?"

"I'm sure of it." There was no hesitation, no doubt. "I am her. I know how she feels, how she thinks. I know she has feelings for you because I have them, too. I know she has feelings for Pete, too, because I have those but I'm not as confused or conflicted as she is. Not anymore. Not now I've talked with you and I understand how your mind works a little better… You should talk to her," she declared suddenly. "Tell her what you told me. Find a way to get though this, to make sure neither of you are making a mistake."

He had avoided giving a direct answer. "We can't really do that. Regulations. But if you've got any ideas on how to get around them…"

"I'll think about it," she promised with a smile. "If I come up with something I'll let you know."

She had left him then, promising to let him leave after she'd had a chance to track Fifth down and find out what was going on back at the SGC.

What she saw in her mind's eye disturbed her. She stood frozen to the spot for several long minutes, processing the images of Fifth's last few hours on Earth, catching up with his thoughts in the present time, eyes widening in horror.

She retraced her steps and walked into the room General O'Neill was in, disturbing him as he lay on the bench that had replaced the chairs they'd been sitting in. He sat up when she entered, hope fighting for dominance with surprise in his eyes.

"We have to go now," she told him, running a hand through her tousled hair. "Your friends are on the edge of the forest near the Stargate. We have to hurry, we have to go back to Earth now."

"We?" He swung his legs over the side of the bench and pushed himself up. "Since when has it been we?"

"Since Fifth realised I told you how to cure her. Since he realised I could never love him and would never help him destroy your world." She stood in the open doorway, tapping her foot impatiently. "He's going to kill her. He wants revenge against you for leaving him and against me for betraying him. She's the key to that, the one way to get as us both."

She didn't need to say anymore than that. He followed her willingly without protest, trusting her not to lead him in circles.

Trusting her to help him save her could-be sister's life.

* * *

They were getting closer, he knew it. Fifth stood over the Colonel, his hand resting on the pillow beside his bed. His creation had betrayed him, had deceived him, and now she was leading the others back through the Stargate with a cure for Colonel Carter. Two hours ago she'd made the decision to go as far as to block all of his attempts at seeing where she was and what she was doing and ever since then he'd been trying to get the guards to take him back to Colonel Carter. He didn't know where his creation was, what she was doing, but he realised it didn't matter as he was led from his holding cell to the infirmary.

All that mattered was that he had been given a chance, that time was running out.

She had become a disappointment to him. He'd had such high hopes for her, for them. Not only did he plan on her keeping him company but he'd also planned on her helping him get revenge on the human world, on Colonel Carter and General O'Neill, before moving onto bigger, better things.

That wasn't going to happen now. He'd known it from the moment she'd returned to their alcove, her face flushed guiltily. She hadn't let him know then what she'd done; she'd invented an excuse for where she'd been and blocked him from accessing her memories for that time but he'd started to suspect.

And now, standing over Colonel Carter, knowing they were on their way back, Fifth knew what he had to do. He hated it, hated the thought of hurting her – the original plan had been that his creation did this, that she killed Colonel Carter because he doubted if he himself would be able – but it was necessary.

It had to be done.

He had to get something out of it. They wouldn't let him leave the SGC. They had a weapon that could kill him in one shot and he knew they wouldn't hesitate to do that once they knew they could cure her without his help.

He wouldn't die without achieving at least one of his aims and if was going to die… Well. It only seemed fair that she should, too.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to the slumbering woman, his hand moving tenderly over her hair. "You made me do this."

He let his fingers trail across her face, down her cheek and along her jaw. Daniel Jackson was sitting a few feet away, his head bent over a file he was apparently engrossed in but it didn't matter. Fifth had stood purposely where he was as it blocked the Doctor's view of what he was doing.

It would be over before anyone could stop him.

She would be dead before anyone even realised he was no longer helping her.

The doors slid open behind him and he tensed, his fingers poised at her forehead. He listened intently, cocking his head.

And relaxed.

The only sound he could hear was the familiar clicking of Doctor Brightman's heels followed by the shuffling footsteps of Detective Shanahan.

They couldn't stop him, no one could.

"You're too late." The voice, soft and weak, came from behind him.

Fifth frowned and slowly turned, his eyes widening.

"Hello, Fifth." Colonel Carter – the real Colonel Carter – stood in between General O'Neill and Doctor Brightman. Teal'c stood behind her with Daniel Jackson, both men poised to catch her if her legs gave in.

Detective Shanahan lingered in the doorway, obviously wanting to be there for his fiancée but obviously not entirely invited to be part of the group that surrounded her.

Protected her.

His eyes moved from her pale face and he half turned to see the woman lying on the bed move into an upright position, holding the weapon he recognised to be deadly to his kind in her hand.

His creation.

She was an even bigger mistake than he'd first thought.

"I can't let you do this," she told him quietly, the weapon steady in her hand. "It's not right, Fifth. They don't deserve it."

"They betrayed me," he spat out bitterly. "Just as you have."

A sad smile appeared on her face. "It didn't have to be like this. If you hadn't kept talking about them, about her, we could've moved on and forgotten all about them. I wouldn't have wanted to know more, I wouldn't have needed to betray you."

"I created you." He took an unwilling step back when she moved to stand, ever conscious of the weapon in her hand. Ever aware of being unable to read her thoughts, of being unable to predict her next move. "I made you what you are."

"You made this body. You made this shell." She continued advancing and he became more and more aware of the people standing behind him. "You had nothing to do with making me. The memories, the knowledge, the feelings I have… You had no part in that. I'm sorry, Fifth. I don't want to do this but you've given me no choice."

"We could leave." Desperation, a human emotion he'd felt only once before, started to well up inside him. "We could go back through the Stargate and leave this place. We could start a new life…"

She shook her head, a grimace on her face. "If they let us go through the Stargate and I know they won't, you would attempt to destroy me and try again. You'd kill me, recycle me. Make a new me in the hopes you could correct your mistakes and make someone who would do everything you asked of them. Everything you wanted. I can't let that happen, I'm sorry."

The arm holding the weapon rose.

"I'm sorry."

She was, too. In those moments before she fired, she let him back inside her mind. Let him see what she was thinking, feel what she was feeling.

And he thought that maybe he understood.

Within seconds he knew no more.

The room was deadly silent for several long minutes as everyone stared at the pile of tiny pieces that lay on the floor where Fifth had once stood.

The remaining replicator held out the weapon to General O'Neill and watched as he took a reluctant step away from the blond haired woman at his side to take it. She smiled at him sadly and let her arm drop to her side. "I know what you have to do."

"If there was another way…" Jack's voice trailed off and he stared at her, reminding himself that she wasn't the real Carter.

That he wasn't about to kill the real Carter.

"I'm a threat to security, I understand that. I knew when I stepped through the Stargate with you that I wouldn't be going back." She held her head high and straightened her shoulders, looking past him to the woman watching the exchange curiously. The original Samantha Carter. "I'm sorry I hurt you." The apology was sincere. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I just needed a way to get my questions answered."

"It's okay," Sam answered quietly, her voice hoarse from having gone unused for so long. "I think I understand."

The Replicator Carter saw the way the real Carter's eyes flickered to the man between them and smiled, thinking that maybe she did. "Okay." She brought her gaze back to General O'Neill's face and the smile faded. "I'm ready."

She wasn't but she had no choice.

She had to be.

"Thank you."

He was thanking her for more than saving Colonel Carter's life and they both knew it. No one else did but she suspected that maybe someone would.

"You're welcome."

She fought the urge to close her eyes, fought to urge to give into her fear and beg for her life.

It wasn't her life to beg for.

When the shot came, it wasn't entirely unpleasant. There was no pain, nothing that made her want to cry out. Just a slight tingly feeling that spread from the entry point in her chest down to her toes and up to her head.

And then there was peace.

* * *

Being hit with a weapon designed to destroy the replicators was a strange feeling, Sam decided. She rested her head against the pillows of her bed in the infirmary and closed her eyes, trying to fall asleep.

It was pointless, though.

She didn't want to sleep. Her body needed it but she didn't. She felt like she'd slept for days and the last thing she wanted was to risk going back to that world.

That place.

It was hard having the memories of living in that world, of living that life, and knowing that every single part of it was a lie.

Well, maybe not every single part of it but most of it.

"Sam?" She opened her eyes at the sound of his voice, pleased to have a distraction at last. "You awake?"

"Yeah." She smiled at him and tried to sit up. "You must have a lot of questions, Pete. I'm sorry but you know…"

"I know you can't tell me anything more than I already know," Pete finished for her with a grin that didn't come as easily as he'd hoped. He leant down to drop a kiss to the side of her mouth but pulled back and sat down before she could even think of increasing the contact. "Doctor Jackson and Doctor Brightman did their best to explain what I saw. That's not what I want to talk to you about but I don't think now's the right time…"

She saw the tension in his shoulders, the strain in his smile and instinctively knew what was coming. He had a question for her, one she knew was going to be harder to answer than the proposal that had taken her two weeks to accept. "Pete, I… Daniel told me what Fifth said… The world I was living in was different to this one, it wasn't the same…"

"Wasn't it?" His eyes locked with hers, the raw emotion in his gaze making the words die on her lips. "Are you having doubts, Sam? About marrying me?"

Sam relaxed – marginally. The question was slightly different to the one she'd been anticipating but no easier to answer. "I…" She cleared her throat when the words got caught and moistened her lips. "I have a lot to think about. There were a lot of things that happened when I… when I was sleeping that I need to try and make sense of." She forced her lips to turn upwards in a soft, apologetic smile. "I do love you, Pete. Really. But I need… I need time to think," she admitted with a sigh. "To try and work out what I really want."

"And whether it's possible for you to have it?" He attempted a smile but it appeared more like a grimace and he got to his feet. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, hesitated and leaned in again to kiss her lips. Softly, though he noticed as he pulled away that it had a bittersweet twist. "Call me when you get out of here, okay? When you've had time to think."

"I will."

She watched through misty eyes as he turned and walked away. Her gaze dropped to the sparkling stone on her left hand and she swallowed the lump that rose in her throat.

In a lot of ways she wished she were back in the world her mind had created.

Back where the only thing she had to worry about was how to say maybe.

Pete stopped the moment he got out of sight and stood in the doorway to the infirmary. He looked back over his shoulder and watched sadly as she stared down at his ring.

Watched as she slipped it off her finger and placed it with care on the cabinet beside her bed.

"I take it you heard." He addressed the man standing a few feet away, having known before entering the infirmary that he wasn't the only one heading in that direction.

That he and Sam wouldn't be the only two witnesses to their conversation.

"I don't want you to say you're sorry," he continued, shuffling his feet and staring down at the ground. "You've got nothing to be sorry for." He shook his head and looked up, staring passed the man standing with him in the corridor. "Just make sure she takes care of herself and tell her… Tell her I'll call her in a few weeks if I haven't heard anything."

The man standing beside him nodded wordlessly.

Pete sighed and ran a hand through his hair, finally forcing his eyes to meet those of his companion. "Take care of her. Make sure she's happy."

He turned on his heel and started walking away, walking towards the corridor.

Already hoping for a phone call he suspected might never come.

Teal'c watched him leave and turned, walking over the threshold of the infirmary and quietly making his way over to her bed. She had her back to him though he knew she was aware of his presence. He sat down in the recently vacated chair and waited.

She didn't keep him waiting long.

"Teal'c?"

"Yes, Colonel Carter?"

She didn't need to ask him to stay. She knew he would regardless of whether she wanted it or not. "Thank you."

"You are most welcome, Colonel Carter. Rest now. I will ensure you do not dream tonight."

Her head bobbed in a nod he couldn't really see. She turned towards him slowly, her closed eyes doing nothing to hide the red patches of skin underneath them. Her hand moved and he shuffled his chair forward, moving close enough so that he could cover her cool skin with his without being uncomfortable.

Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. Within minutes she was asleep, her body's demands overwhelming her reluctance to sleep.

A slight movement behind him had Teal'c's head turning, his gaze drifting briefly towards the empty doorway.

Jack took a step back, sinking back into the shadows. He could sleep now knowing she wasn't alone, knowing Teal'c would look after her and keep her imagination from tormenting her that night.

He turned on his heel and walked back in the direction he'd come, heading to his quarters to his own uneasy dreams.

Tomorrow he would talk to her. Tomorrow he'd check she was okay. And maybe, just maybe he'd have a chance to ask some questions of his own.

* * *

Fini 


End file.
